In the past, I found it hard to let go at times. Especially when it came to relationships, friendships or otherwise. For the ones I really valued, based on the bond that would have been formed, I got these ideas in my head about how things should have played out, when they didn’t go that way, I was crushed.
When I saw things go south, I made valiant efforts to try and change things back to the way they used to be, and sometimes I overdid it and caused further damage rather than let time do its work. I forgot that relationships are partnerships and not a sole proprietorship. Basically, the other person has to want what you want and if they are not budging, it’s time to let go. Some relationships are worth the fight, but if the other person is not willing to invest, or reinvest, then you need to continue on your journey, with your hurt and all.
For some, it’s not relationships, its the pursuit of material success, or rather the standards society has set for success. Constantly wanting to do the next best thing, be the next best thing, come up with the next great idea, or become the next YouTube or Instagram sensation. Your current professional and social achievements are never good enough for you and instead of working on your emotional and mental health, the part that no one can see, you are obsessed with your social identity.
Letting Go Means Thinking Right:
When our expectations are not met or we feel like we failed at something or failed someone, many of us start to beat ourselves up and feed ourselves negative thoughts. “I am a failure”, “I am not good enough”, “I will not overcome this”. What if you are not a failure, what if you are good enough, and what if you will overcome?! You are a sum total of what you tell yourself because what you tell yourself is what you believe. As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he, Proverbs 23:7. Whether you are a Christian, a Believer, a Christ Follower, an Atheist, an Agnostic, etc., the concept of what we cultivate in our mind producing the fruit of our belief system is the truth.
In addition to developing positive thoughts about yourself. Your mental evaluation must also include you taking stock of what is not working, what is not necessary, and what is not good for you. Entertaining negativity in your life starts with thinking that its okay to tolerate thorns on your journey. Guess what, it’s not okay.
…relationships are partnerships and not a sole proprietorship. Basically, the other person has to want what you want and if they are not budging, it’s time to let go. Some relationships are worth the fight, but if the other person is not willing to invest, or reinvest, then you need to continue on your journey, with your hurt and all.
What is not working, what is not necessary, and what is not good for you?:
Among other things, one of the main purposes of life should be our continual self-development and maturity. We will never reach the point of perfection, however, we should never be satisfied with mediocre and though not obsessively, we should constantly seek to better ourselves, body, mind, and soul. In order to become an improved version of who we are it is important to evaluate the circumstances we are in and what and who we surround ourselves with.
So it’s time to ask ourselves those tough questions:
What is not working for me?
What is not necessary for me?
What is not good for me?
How have my choices led me down the path I am on now?
Write down your answers, think about why you are allowing these things to continue, what will be the benefits of letting go of these things and come up with an exit strategy of walking away from everything that has become a detriment to your development. The successes you should be chasing are not the socially constructed ones but ones that are best for your mental, emotional and physical health. Once the choices you are making are going to positively affect those three that is where your true success and prosperity lies. Anything else will make you a shell of what you are meant to be if not lead you to an early grave.